My brain, or maybe I should say my stomach has decided to treat cancer the same as pregnancy. I bought some candy bars that were only things you can buy in the northwest while on vacation. Jim gave me a look- and I told him 'hey- I am sick' and gave him pouty eyes. I haven't eaten them- I have them hidden away in my stash drawer for when I really need it. But sadly, it doesn't end there. I have eaten far too many 'bad' foods and many desserts. I was so close to my goal weight before being diagnosed. Originally I was like- okay cool, chemo will make me lose weight. Yea, that doesn't really happen- instead I am expected to gain around 10-25 pounds. ugh! So, I cancelled my Weight Watchers membership (partially to save money because cancer is very expensive!!) and I eat. I eat too much, and whenever I want something 'bad' I eat it- because I am 'sick' It is exactly the same way I would have eaten it because 'the baby wanted it' demanding some strange item that I absolutely must have because it will make me happy.
I am also torn between trying to eat less meat (especially red), less grilled stuff, less processed crap because it will be good for me, and then I turn around and say what the hell- I already HAVE cancer- may was well woop it up good- the chemo will kill all the bad stuff- and I will eat better when I am done with treatment. Yes, well- how often is it easy to start eating well again after you have a baby? Then you have to splure on naughty foods to keep calories up because you are breastfeeding, then just because you don't have time to eat right because you are taking care of a baby....
Then there are enablers- This will mainly be my neighbors. Hehehe Neighbor Enablers! The first full week after surgery we were SO well fed. We were stuffed still with delicious foods that everyone took turns bringing over. Even after we were stuffed and had it for leftovers, we still had enough to put plenty in the freezer to save for later! And let me just say that none of these foods were really considered low fat or super healthy- they were just damn good! Lets just say Jim and I have not lost any weight lately.... Instead of blaming my lack of willpower I will just blame the neighbor enablers ;)
Yay for Neighbor Enablers!!!
ReplyDeleteYou probably won't be eating as much when you're on chemo, so you'd think your weight would go down, but you'll also be doing a lot more laying around because you won't have any energy. The main reason you gain weight on chemo is because you retain fluid. :(
While on chemo, your sense of taste will change (I didn't like chocolate, which is unheard of!). You'll find you'll like things that you normally wouldn't care much about (I really loved tomatoes, which aren't my favorite vegetable). I had to basically snack all the time to keep my heart burn down and suck on Jolly Rancher candies to combat the metallic taste in my mouth. THAT was hard to let go of when I came off chemo.
Good points Jean!!!
ReplyDelete