It's been a really long week!

I can't believe how slow time is moving along.  I am still waiting to hear from the oncologist.  I *think* that I will feel a lot better after talking to her, and get a better idea of the general timeline of everything.  At first I seemed okay with waiting a month for surgery...then the lump started hurting again.  So of course then I started wondering' ohh shit, can I actually feel it growing?  I am pretty sure it IS growing.  Growing and spreading.  It will probably be in my brain in another month!'  See- I really need an appt with the oncologist so she can talk me down.  But now it is friday and I know I won't hear from anyone until at least monday- booo!  So I went in search of answers on Google.  There were tons and tons of posts on different forums with women freaking out about the exact same issue.  It turns out that 4-6 weeks is a completely normal amount of time to have to wait- even for aggressive breast cancers, especially if reconstruction is going to be done- because the breast surgeon and the plastic surgeon will both have to be there at the same time.  Then it is usually 4 weeks after surgery before chemo starts.  There certainly is no- hurry up and get this done attitude going on apparently.
Jim and I have decided for sure on a unilateral mastectomy.  Possibly bilateral- we will wait and see.   My feeling is that if I am going to be horribly deformed after this, I may as well really go for it, and have less risk for recurrance while I am at it.
My MRI is scheduled for next week- I am not sure whether it will actually occur or not, because if they are chopping off my boob then no need to look for more tumors in it... however- they might find something on the other side that the mammogram missed.  That is up to the surgeon I guess.  Then, I also see the genetic counselor next week.  I have to fill out this insanely long survey, in which I have to figure out exactly how many months I breastfed: 46, Exactly how many years I was on birth control- uhhhh not even sure about that one but I made up something somewhat close....I think.  And how many months of fertility treatments....jeez- I didn't ever think to keep track of all that stuff!  Then a complete family history of all the things medically wrong with any and all family members.  All of this to determine if I could possibly have the breast cancer gene.  Well, really the only question they really have to ask is do you know both sides of your family? no? okay- lets test you!    Ohhh, but it gets even better.  After I finish the survery, I go in and meet with a genetic counselor at the same time that i get my blood test for this gene.  The genetic counselor will then talk to me about the possibilities and my 'options'.  WTF?  I am not pregnant with a baby that I may or may not abort.  I just need the blood test, and the results.  I don't need 'counseling' on my options!