boob decisions

Since my last appointment with the plasic surgeon I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my fake boob (foob).   I hate my tissue expander.  I HATE it.  The last fill I had made it even worse.  I now have broken blood vessels across my skin because it is pulled so tight.  It is also now causing some nerve pain in my arm and all across my chest is just really uncomfortable.  I thought, when I first started all of this, that the idea of an implant would grow on me.  That after having the tissue expander in, I would become okay with the idea of having weird fake shit inside of me.  It hasn't happened yet.  I know that it will be very different from what I have now- but I want to be able to lay on my stomach without it feeling weird, and I don't really want to look like Barbie.  I am sure Jim would like Barbie- but I just don't feel the same way.  If I have an implant, then my other side will not only need a lift- it would probably also need a small implant just so that they look similar.  I hate the idea of that!
I decided to look at all my options again, and I keep coming back to the DIEP.  It is a procedure that uses tummy fat and tissue.  It is a huge operation, with a long painful recovery, and my plastic surgeon does not perform this procedure.  So- it really is a huge pain to change my mind.  It will change a lot of things. 
There are not very many doctors at all that perform this procedure because it is very complicated and time consuming.  At first, when I was looking for more information, I found a very good practice that performs the DIEP in San Antonio but that is a long drive!  I did finally find a few doctors in Dallas that do this, so while it isn't as close as Fort Worth- it is much closer than San Antonio. 
I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon yesterday.  I was supposed to get my last fill.  I was very nervous about going because I knew I needed to talk to him about wanting the DIEP, and I was afraid that he would say it wasn't a good idea for me to have this procedure, and that we would part on bad terms.  Thankfully he is a much better doctor than that.  He said that he knows doctors in Dallas that do only this kind of procedure, so they are very practiced- and he would be happy to refer me to them- he also looked at my (ample) stomach, and said I would be a very good candidate for the DIEP.  I was so happy that he was okay with me at least looking into that as an option.  He wants to see me again in a month to find out what the radiation doctor has decided- and then I guess we will go from there!