I woke up at 4:30 this morning and could not go to sleep. Why? Because I am scared of barbie boobs. Sure, when you first look at them they seem nice and perky. But if you touch it, it is hard, it doesn't go anywhere. And it doesn't have a freaking nipple! Ahhhhh! Then, notice her laying down. They don't and lay flat with the rest of her body, in fact she cant even lay down all the way because of her damn boobs. This is my future! Yes, implants can look very natural these days, but not so much when it is reconstructive implants. Those suckers are behind a wall of muscle, not just stuck into the skin between the fat.
So- yes, I have been up since 4:30 this morning. Thinking in a panic that I need to call the plastic surgeon and cancel his services on surgery day, that really I should just get a lumpectomy- higher risk be damned!
I finally talked myself down, but still....this is just not something I ever wanted for myself. not something that fits into my life, and not something that anyone should ever have to do!
Stupid barbie.
Evidently the post I meant to put here ended up on the Aphinity trial post. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteJean, I am so glad you keep popping in! This morning was just a little freak out moment. After more appointments today, I am back to being calmer about it all. You are the one that said to me that no matter what choice I made, some how my body would be different, it would never be the same as it is now. Even just a lumpectomy would not give me the results I REALLY want (to have my boobs just left alone, and the cancer to magically disappear) So, now I am back to being okay with a mx, I am sure I will freak out about it again though, and if I really have any lingering doubts about the decision I have made, I know I can still change my mind.
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