Last tuesday I had my long awaited consultation with Dr. Duffy. He is a plastic surgeon that specializes in DIEP reconstruction. The day before the appointent Jim and I were talking about it, and when we would try to get the surgery done. I have talked to a few people that have said that absolutely no sooner than 6 monthsafter the end of radiation. Well, that is the middle of September. I am starting grad school at the end of August, so I absolutely can not schedule surgery in September. If I were doing implants I could possibly do it towards the end of the week and have the weekend to recover, but DIEP is a very big surgery, with a long hospital stay. At the very best I was hoping the Dr. would be willing to do surgery the first week of August. I didn't hope for anything better than that, and really- I did not think he would go for it (especially since I burnt so badly during radiation) So, I fully expected to have to wait until Christmas break.
Now, I *knew* that my chances for this summer were pretty much obsolete, but that did not mean that I was going to actually let myself admit that! Much less have a conversation about the possibilities. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing (hoping) that I would get to have surgery this summer. Sometimes Jim is a little slow. He brought up the topic of surgery and tried to make me admit that I knew surgery wasn't going to happen until September. He even had the audacity to suggest that I put school off yet ANOTHER semester. I am pretty sure that once he said this, he probably saw the smoke coming out of my ears. It took everything in me to not hit him hard. I told him in a very stern threatening voice that there is no way in hell school is getting put off again. The is also no way I will concede to surgery a year from now. NO.
But of course, the rational part of me knew that the doctor was going to disappoint me and stretch this damn neverending journey out much longer than I wanted.
So, Jim and I are at Dr. Duffy's office. I am very nervous. He talks to us about the procedure and how he feels I am a very good candidate, and also most of his patients only spend 2-3 days in the hospital rather than 5. I know so much about my cancer when they are asking me questions that the doctor's nurse asks me if I am also a nurse! LOL! Then the big moment I had been waiting for- we started discussing surgery dates. I admitted that I know the other doctors are all telling me 6 months, but I have school, and more importantly I have a DREAM about how this all needs to play out. I give him this whole long sob story just hoping he feels sorry for me and decides to do surgery in early August. He said he would do it in June. J-U-N-E!!! Quite literally my jaw hit the ground. And then I started to cry. This is the first time since diagnosis that something has not only gone the way I hoped, but actually better! much better! Of course, then I asked if he was sure? Is that enough time to heal? My regular plastic surgeon said the radiated skin could do very poorly if surgery is too soon. Nope, Dr. Duffy said that since we will be adding non radiated skin, that the surgery will be much different. JUNE!
He then escorts us to another room and has me undress. There is a camera in the room, and I get to pick a pair of panties from a basket. He is going to take pictures of me. Niiiiice. Let me just add, these panties leave nothing to the imagination. He makes me stand in a variety of positions and takes pictures. This will help him plan his surgery- since he will be cutting off a huge hunk of my abdomen and putting it on my boob. Sexy pictures they were not.
The surgery is actually 2-3 surgeries. The first is the actual DIEP flap transplant. Then about 3 months after that, I will have a revision and at that time, they do a lift on the other side to match, and also transplant an areola/nipple that will come from my hip, the last part I am not sure about- I think it may only be tattooing to color in the skin of the areola to make it look darker.
JUNE
JUNE
JUNE
and here is a bit of irony: My breast biopsy was June 18 last year. At that point, I pretty much knew it was bad news, but I didn't have it confirmed until June 20. And now, I will have surgery to make this nightmare end on June 19.
It is early enough in the summer that I will get to enjoy swimsuit season with nice boobs and a flat tummy!
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