going for #3 tomorrow, and I am very TIRED

I have found it so incredibly hard to keep up with this blog for the last few weeks.  Lots of fall activities going on and I am just.so.tired.  After my first treatment I felt like I had a good amount of energy after 2 weeks (still with some down time) but this time I am just always tired, ready for a nap about an hour after waking up.  And yet, when I do try to nap, I can't.  I just lay still and close my eyes but I am still awake.  Just laying still helps me feel better but I sure wish I could actually get some sleep. 
I rarely wear my wig these days- it is so, so itchy and my scarves aren't!  I also don't feel comfortable going bald anywhere now- because my stubble is GONE.   I have gone from the buzz cut that could make people think- 'hmmm, maybe she is just kinda butch'...to 'definately cancer patient'.  ick.  Not that the scarves are any different but it makes me feel better. 
I go in for my 3rd treatment tomorrow.  That is kind of exciting because it means I will be halfway done.  The time has gone by so quickly, yet the bad week after each treatment seems sooooooooo long.  However- as with the other treatments I have a large amount of anxiety about it.  Not the treatment itself, but the steroids (that I started today) which make me feel crazy, and not sleep well for 3 days, and make me transform into a human furnace!  Last cycle I took a large dose of benadryl before bed each night and it really did help me sleep better so hopefully that will be how it goes this time also!  Then, last cycle I got a bit nauseated on the ride home from treatment and it stayed around for the evening.  Hopefully it doesn't get any worse than that.  I would love if I could keep from puking this entire time on chemo!   And now my new thing to worry about- glutamine powder.  Ugh!  That shit feels like I am drinking sand. Someone suggested trying to mix it in with jello and really that sounds like a fabulous idea, I think I am going to try that this time.  It is supposed to help with nerve damage, joint pain, and mouth sores- all of which I had much less of on treatment 2 than on treatment 1 so I really feel like I need to use it, but the sand part makes it really hard to do. 
For as tired as I am this time, it really makes me feel like I am on a downward spiral.  I worry that the side effects are going to keep hitting me harder and harder and it will be more difficult to recover and have good days.  Not something that makes me have a good feeling about the holidays coming up, especially with Jim having to work so much.   On that note- if nobody hears from me for the next week it is because I am hopefully sleeping and possibly molting (it kind of feels like that on day 3-4 LOL)