Some things just don't come quickly enough!

This is my poor head 9 weeks after my last chemo.  I have some hair on the sides but pretty much nothing on top!  Basically I have Jim's hairstyle- but it looks MUCH better on Jim!

This is what my fingernails look like.  The red discolored part is from chemo.  They are getting more grown out and as they do, they are becoming less attached, and they break and peel easily too.  It is weird and gross.  I haven't had a nail come off yet but I have felt it starting to seperate from the skin underneath.  It kinda makes me feel like I do when I hear nails on a chalkboard.  ewwww!

17 down, 12 to go!

Well, I was really hoping that my body would adjust to radiation at some point and the exhaustion would ease up, but it really hasn't.  My Saturdays are okay, and my Sundays are great though.  I cling desperately to my weekends.  There are some days during the week that I don't sleep the day away, but I still spend most of the time on the couch being still.  We have ordered out quite a lot lately because I just don't cook.  I don't go to the grocery store either, so it is pretty slim picking here at home.  Jim has had a pretty relaxed schedule at work and has been able to help me quite a bit, but starting tomorrow, he will be working the night shift and that is just going to blow our routine to hell.  I am pretty sure bowls of cereal for dinner are in our future.

The radiation itself is going well.  I have a red box burned onto my chest, but it isn't peeling yet and I keep it extremely well moisturized.   The one thing that has been a bit interesting is that I can't really wear a bra.  It rubs against the burnt area on my right side.  While going braless doesn't sound like much of an issue, it is.  If I go braless, I have to wear a jacket to cover up my lopsidedness.  Old floppy girl just looks rediculous next to fake perky girl.  Therefore, I created a one boob bra!  The Uniboober!  It holds up old floppy, but the strap around my chest goes down low, therefore it doesn't rub against any of the radiated area.  It makes my boobs *almost* level.

This is my 'uniboober' bra....for the girl that only has one boob!

It's official- radiatin sucks!

I have been so incredibly tired since radiation started.  I am usually my normal self in the mornings, but as I am driving home from my treatment around noon it takes everything in me to keep my eyes open.  I am also kind of emotional and weepy- the way little kids get when they are ready for a nap!  I haven't really been able to make much for dinner for the family because I just can't get up or get motivated enough to even thaw out any chicken.   I talked to a couple of women yesterday and they both said their first week was terrible, as far as exhaustion goes, but then it got better.  I hope so!  I know if it gets worse, I will need to recruit people to drive me there and back because it is really quite difficult to stay awake now as it is. 
To add to the fun, I hurt my shoulder about 10 days ago while painting.  I need to go to a doctor about it and maybe get a cortizone shot.  I don't really have time to go though.... I have also noticed this last week that I have at least a couple of teeth bothering me, my back is out of wack and I need to get back in to the chiropractor too.....but yea, no time for that shit.  Too busy going to radiation every flipping day, then coming home and sleeping.  Proof that when it rains, it pours.  And unfortunately it will have to rain for quite awhile because I just don't have time to deal with any of it right now.  Thank goodness my kids are healthy- they do all need haircuts though. 
And now it is time to go you know where....

Wow, what a busy week!

Wednesday was my herceptin treatment.   It went very well, but I didn't get to sit in my regular spot.  It ended up being a good thing because I sat next to a woman that was hilarious.  Normally when someones bag of chemo is empty, the computer on their little pole will start beeping.  Sometimes it is hard to know who's machine is beeping because we are all crammed in there together.  This woman and I decided they should have little lights at the top, and it could go off instead of a noise- kinda like a blue light special- but instead of a good deal, you get another bag of poison! LOL!  We then decided it should be more like disco balls, and the woman next to me even offered to do a pole dance if we could find someone to record it.  See- it's not boring at all in there!
Thursday I got to start radiation!  I went to the dressing room, got a slot with my name on it to keep my gown in, and a locker to put my valuables in.  Then I waited tyo get called in.  I had my measurements done with a CT machine, so I figured that is where I would get radiation but apparently not.  I went to another room with a machine called a Linear Accelerator.  They took more measurements, and gave me yet another tattoo (3 in total now).  The man doing the measurements also colored all over my chest with a marker.  The area inside the markings showed where to radiate.  They zapped me a few times ( I couldn't actually feel anything) then they came in and put my bolus on (that is the hard waxy plastic form they made the time before) and then they zapped me some more.  It took about 45 minutes, but they assured me that the following appointments would be much quicker.  After that, I got up and got dressed and went home.  On the way home I felt normal but I could sort of feel some weird twinges in my chest area.  By the afternoon I was exhausted.  I figured it must be from the herceptin that I had the day before.  I have heard from lots of people that radiation is easy and you don't get really tired until later in treatment.
Friday I came in for treatment again and was delighted that it only took a matter of minutes.  Jim came with me and we went shopping afterwards.  Then we went home and I napped.  It then occured to me that all through chemo, which the exception of the first treatment, I never napped!  Yea I got kind of tired and blah, but I never had to stop what I was doing and sleep!  Crap!  That means that the radiation is already kicking my ass and I still have 5 more weeks of daily treatments!  This is kind of upsetting to me because I really had planned on doing some stuff over the next month.  Nevermind, I guess!
Other than complete exhaustion, my skin is getting kind of pink.  It isn't really burnt, but it is tender.  I alternate lubing it up with a special lotion from the oncology center, and aquaphor.  Aquaphor is a pain in the ass though, because it is very greasy.  I ended up cutting up an old shirt and after I grease myself down, I put the tshirt scraps on, then put a stretchy bra on over it all.  I do this about 4 times a day, and  while it is a pain- I am hoping my diligence will pay off and my skin won't burn very badly.  I will do ANYTHING to be able to get my reconstruction surgery done in early summer!  I don't want anything to mess it up.